7 months already gone

I like the number 7.
Because is my birth date, my lucky number & I just loves this number.
But somehow it brings me going to the path of sadness

I dont know why I cant take a nice picture.
Try to smile on different angles. but my eyes just cant follow up what I want.
Maybe my eyes is tired. I didn't get to sleep well these few days.
Everything in this 7months is spinning in my head.
I cry for it, I stubborn for it, I desprate for it.
At the end I get NOTHING !

I do admit that I wasn't being a good girlfriend.
Always like to act like a small girl in front of him.
Need him to take care of me.
Just because I wants to be care by him. Only him..
We break up once, it was before chinese new year.
I really cry so bad that time even this time we break up.
I cant blame you for not believing me.
Because I was using the lies to cover up everything for a man.
But i wasn't having affair. My heart was faithful to you.

Until we get to couple back, alot of bitter sweet we been through.
I cry alot for you. I remember how angry am I, how insane am I.
But is just because I really love you.
I do admit that I was being annoying. I know my fucking small kid attitude.
But there must be something good about me right?
Just that you always remember all the shits I do.
If I always remember the bad things u do, how can I continue to love you?


7months.
Really one word end it means whole thing turns into nothing.
I remember when you say we are ending and no turning back, my heart was still aching for it
Sometimes I was wondering the man that shouting in the phone to me is it the man I use to love and adore so much?
Maybe like what he say. He change.

you know wert. something that is really sincere from my heart.
I remember that day when I say I want to married you,
That is true.
Maybe you forget when was it. But when the moment I look into your eyes is like sparkling.
Maybe people out there will think stupid girl. where got such thing.
However, I just felt that he will be the guy I want to be with for my life.
I really thought we would last for more than just 7 months

This ring on my finger that I have already wear for more than 5 months.
No matter what it will always in my finger everyday.
But I guess now I'm not the one to him anymore.
I should just let it go.
I really wish I could just leave like how he did once we agree breaking up.
Is just hard for me.
Someone that been through alot with me for this 7 months?
Someone that I always love and trust for 7 months?
No way it can just fade it away.

One thing that I remember clearly what you say.
That night you hold my hands and say :
I think we are really meant to be together after we been through so much.
I hope It does. But its over dy.

To : Mr Kidd
What I look in you, Is the one that always being serious, intelligent, caring & lovely person.
why do i love you?
Because the inner good of you & all the things we been through so so much in this 7 months.
You really meant something in my heart.

Anyway thanks for been into my life for this 7months (:
all the bitter sweet we have together will be in my heart always !
& it wasn't a lie. My faithful to you is true.
Hope you will be happy always with her & in future too.
You are right. She deserves to have you more than I do.
Anyone deserves just not me..
I really love everyday that we spent together.
Even just argue. I miss it too, because I dont think there's any chance for us to argue.



p.s : I know is just 7 months not 7 year, but you will never know what does it meant to me so much in this 7 months.



Xoxo
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